Tom: John Blake and his friend, Mary Green, were trying to discover what had happened to the pendant that had been stolen from a museum. At last, they found the man who had got it. It was Anthony Forset, the collector of old things. He was trying to leave the country. John and Mary followed him to a railway station, where the next train to London was being announced. They found Forset hiding behind some large wooden boxes. He pushed them on top of John. Then he seized Mary. He held his hand over her mouth to stop her shouting for help. He tried to throw her in front of the fast train.
Man: Hey, Station Master, stop the train. I want to get on.
Station Master: Sorry, sir, I can’t stop this train. It’s a fast train. Fast trains and express trains never stop here. This is a small station.
Man: And what train stop here?
Station Master: Only slow trains, local trains and goods trains.
Man: What a terrible place.
Tom: Well, the fast train was coming. Forset tried to throw Mary in front of it.
Mary: Help! Help! Help!
Forset: I’m glad you followed me. Now I’ll be safe. It’s a fast train, you’ll soon be dead.
Detective: You’re wrong, Mr. Forset. Let her go.
Forset: Who’re you?
Mary: It’s the detective.
Detective: The cases hid you, did they? They hid me, too. I heard everything. You’re caught this time.
Forset: No, I’m not. I’ll—awwww…
Tom: Forset said to Mary, “It’s the fast train. You will soon be dead.” But just then the detective appeared and told him to let Mary go, and Forset himself jumped in front of the train and was killed. “Don’t look – he was hit by the train,” the detective said to Mary.
Man1: You are a fool, you are a coward.
Man2: How dare you say that?
Man1: You are a—aww… You hit me in the face. How could you hit your friend in the face? I’ll never talk to you again in my life.
(piano music with false notes)
Piano teacher: You hit the wrong note, dear. Try it again. (piano music, again) That’s right.
Woman1: But as I told her, she was a beast.
Woman2: Did it make any impression?
Woman1: None at all. But then I told her she is a thief. That really hit home. She began to cry and admitted she’d stolen the money.
Woman: My goodness. The old lady. Stop!
Man: Don’t panic. I have stopped, haven’t I?
Woman: You’re lucky, darling, that’s all. You could have hit the old lady. And I can tell you, that you’ll hit somebody sooner or later if you go on driving like that.
Tom: Well, when the detective tried to arrest Forset, he jumped in front of the train and was killed. “Don’t look – he was hit by the train,” the detective said.
Forset: No, I’m not. I’ll—awwww…
Detective: Don’t look. He was hit by the train.
Mary: Is he dead?
Detective: He is. But you’re alive. I’m glad I got here in time.
Mary: I’m sorry you didn’t get here sooner.
Detective: You’re safe, aren’t you?
Mary: I’m safe, but John’s hurt. He’s under those cases. Perhaps he’s dead.
Detective: Oh, no. He’s not dead. Listen.
John: Help!
Detective: You can hear him!
Mary: We must move the cases. Help me!
Detective: Porter!
Porter: Yep!
Detective: Help me with these cases. Be careful. There’s a man under them. They have fallen onto him. Move them, move them, carefully. Quickly, but carefully.
Tom: The detective said, “I’m glad I got here in time.” Mary said, “I’m sorry you didn’t get here sooner. I’m safe, but John’s hurt. He’s under those cases.” But the detective called the porter and asked him to help move those cases. When Mary saw John, she cried: “You’re alive! Oh, John, you’re alive!” John was alive. “The cases missed me, but I was trapped under the truck.” Luckily, John wasn’t hit by the cases. He fell under the truck, that is, under the little cart that porters use to push the passengers’ suitcases and bags to the trains. He was trapped under the truck.
Woman: Help! Help! The door’s locked. I’m trapped. I can’t get out. I’m trapped. Please, help. I’m trapped. Help!
Man1: She really is trapped. Shall we help her get out?
Man2: Just this once.
Tom: John was trapped under the truck, but he was only slightly hurt. “I’m bruised,” he said. He was bruised, that is, he hit himself and he was blue here and there, but that was all.
Mary: Oh, you’re alive. Oh, John, you’re alive.
Detective: Are you hurt?
John: The case missed me, but I was trapped under the truck.
Detective: You’re lucky.
John: I’m bruised.
Detective: Well, you’re both alive and you’re both lucky. I told you to go straight home, didn’t I?
John: But we caught the murderer and we found the pendant.
Detective: You were very nearly killed.
John: The pendant is valuable.
Detective: No, it isn’t.
John: There’re diamonds in it. Mr. Egg, Forset and the man with the scar – they all wanted the diamonds.
Detective: They didn’t get them.
Mary: The diamonds are hidden in the pendant.
Detective: No, they’re not. They were in the pendant a long time ago, but they were found and they were sold.
John and Mary: Oh!
Detective: The Haverel’s money came from the diamonds. Now, the diamonds have gone, and the money has gone.
John: Did Miss Haverel know this?
Detective: Yes, of course.
John: Why didn’t she tell someone?
Detective: Nobody asked her. Everybody was too busy. They were stealing pendants and chasing people in cars and killing each other… they had no time to ask her.
Tom: John wasn’t badly hurt. The detective explained that there were no diamonds in the pendant. The Haverel’s had sold them a long time ago. “Did Miss Haverel know this?” John asked. The detective said, “Yes, of course. But nobody asked her. Everybody was too busy.”
Cathy: The detective was quite right, wasn’t he? All of them were very busy. Everybody was busy. Nobody had time for Miss Haverel.
Tom: Yes. All of them were chasing people. Everybody was chasing someone. Mr. Egg was chasing John, Mr. Forset was chasing Mr. Egg, John was chasing Mr. Forset, and the detective was chasing them all. And nobody cared for Miss Haverel.
Cathy: They were all doing something unusual. Scarface stole the pendant, Forset killed Mr. Egg and John played at detectives. Everybody was doing something unusual. Nobody was leading his normal life.
Tom: They all did strange things. Everybody did strange things. Nobody did normal things.
Cathy: The detective wanted to catch all of them. He wanted to catch everybody. Nobody could get away.
Tom: Well, Miss Haverel knew that all the diamonds had gone. Every diamond had been sold. No diamond had been left, and all the money had been spent. But nobody asked her, and so she didn’t tell anybody. At last, John and Mary discovered that the pendant wasn’t valuable at all. “But we found the pendant, didn’t we?” John asked. The detective answered, “Yes, you found the pendant. I’ll tell the director of the museum about it.” Mary said, “Perhaps, he’ll offer you a job now. You deserve it.”
Woman: Jacky, here’s a piece of chocolate for you. You were a very good little boy all day long. You deserve this chocolate. Good little boy. (she kisses him) You deserve it.
Man: I had to move heaven and earth to get this job, you know.
Woman: Well, you deserve it, don’t you?
Tom: Well, John did everything to find the pendant, and he succeeded. He deserved a job at the museum. You remember, at the beginning of our story John had gone to the museum to get a job there. He hadn’t got the job, but while he had been there, the pendant had been stolen. John found the pendant, so he deserved the job now. But meanwhile so many things had happened to him, that he had changed his mind. “I’m not sure I want a job at the museum,” he said.
John: But we found the pendant, didn’t we?
Detective: Yes, you found the pendant. I’ll tell the director of the museum about it.
John: Thank you.
Detective: I’ll tell him what you did.
Mary: Perhaps he’ll offer you a job now. You deserve it.
John: I’m not sure I want a job at the museum.
Mary: Of course you want a job at the museum.
Tom: After all that had happened, John wasn’t sure he wanted a job at the museum. But Mary was firm. “Of course you want a job at the museum,” she said. “We’ve been threatened and shot at and burnt and chased, all because you wanted a job at the museum.”
Cathy: But what did he want to do instead? Why did he change his mind?
Tom: Cathy, dear, this is my last secret.
John: But we found the pendant, didn’t we?
Detective: Yes, you found the pendant. I’ll tell the director of the museum about it.
John: Thank you.
Detective: I’ll tell him what you did.
Mary: Perhaps he’ll offer you a job now. You deserve it.
John: I’m not sure I want a job at the museum.
Mary: Of course you want a job at the museum. We’ve been threatened and shot at and burnt and chased, all because you wanted a job at the museum.
John: I know. But a job at the museum is so safe and quiet. I’d like a job—
Mary: Well?
John: I’d like a job with the police.
Detective: Oh, no! No, sir. You go to the museum. (the detective sneezes) Now, will you take him home, miss, before he gets any more ideas?
Mary: Come on, John.
John: But—
Mary: Come on.
John: Oh— very well.
(theme music)
Tom: And here is your last chance to exercise your English. So now, EXERCISE YOUR ENGLISH.
Cathy: Tom, may I ask you a question?
Tom: Go ahead.
Cathy: Do you really want us to do exercises now?
Tom: Why? What do you think? Didn’t you hear the signature tune?
Cathy: Well, I heard it all right, but—
Tom: What’s happened to you, Cathy? Do you feel tired? Are you bored?
Cathy: Just the contrary. I’m thrilled, and that’s exactly why I refuse to exercise my English today.
Tom: But you’ve always been so eager to have some grammar.
Cathy: That’s just the point. I’ve been exercising my English for 49 lessons. I’ve learnt a lot. I’m not going to learn today.
Colleague1: Hello, Cathy. Hello, Tom.
Cathy: Hello.
Tom: Nice to see you. But you’re a bit late, aren’t you?
Colleague1: Late? For what?
Tom: I’ve already announced the exercises.
Colleague2: Announced the exercises? Have I come to the wrong studio? Exercises at a farewell party?
Tom: Farewell party? You’ve all gone out of your minds. Here we are at the end of our endless story, at the last moment before the happy ending, and now I find myself mixed up in the very midst of a… of a… conspiracy. Why not do the exercises quickly and finally listen to the last episode?
Cathy: All’s well that ends well.
Colleagues: Yes, all’s well that ends well.
Tom: Well, you see, you’re being sensible. So now, EXER—
Cathy: Tom, in the name of all the listeners – all those poor victims who have been running home by six o’clock every day since we started to broadcast the first lesson – NO EXERCISES TODAY.
All colleagues: NO, NO EXERCISES TODAY.
Tom: Poor me. All by myself against three women. Forset is dead, Scarface is arrested, the detective is suffering from a heavy cold, and that fine and talented John will probably marry Mary. I can’t help but give in. Goodbye, listeners, it was so nice to work with you. I hope you’ve enjoyed our programmes. I hope you’ll remember a few words. I hope you’ll know what to say in England, if you meet a man with a scar and a stiff arm, who is just stealing a pendant from a museum. So, no exercises.
Colleague1: Oh, Tom, don’t be so sad. We’ve got a surprise for you.
Tom: What, a surprise? That’s really nice of you. Well?
Colleague2: Would you like to listen to the last episode once again?
Tom: Of course I would.
Colleague2: Then listen.
(shots fired)
Colleague1: Help! Help! Help!
Colleague2: Now I’ve caught you. You’re in my hands. Now I’ll teach you a lesson. You’ll learn the Past Conditional, you’ll learn the Present Perfect, the Sequence of Tenses, the… the… Future Perfect Conditional, listen to my example, listen, don’t speak, listen, say after me, don’t speak, repeat what you’ve heard… don’t speak, listen! Listen! Listen!
Tom: Ouch! My head! Help! Help! Help!
(shots fired)
(theme music)