Tom: John Blake and his friend, Mary Green, were trying to find out more about a pendant. The pendant had been stolen from a museum. They went to the house of Miss Haverel. Her brother had once owned the pendant. While they were talking to her, a bookseller called Mr. Egg came to the house. He called Miss Haverel rude names. He said, “Shut up, you old parrot!”, but was very friendly to John. Miss Haverel told John that she knew Scarface, the man from the museum. Egg got very angry. He reminded her who he was: “I am Mr. Egg, my dear”. He was Miss Haverel’s landlord, that is, he owned the house, and Miss Haverel paid him rent. Rent is a certain sum of money for living in someone’s house. She paid him rent. Or rather, as Mr. Egg put it, she owed him rent. She ought to have paid, but she had no money.
Mrs. Randell: Good evening, Mr. White.
Mr. White: Good evening, Mrs. Randell. What can I do for you?
Parrot: Oh, Mrs. Randell, oh, Mrs. Randell…
Mrs. Randell: Oh, what a lovely parrot you’ve got.
Parrot: What a lovely parrot, what a lovely parrot…
Mrs. Randell: And what a good talker it is.
Mr. White: Oh, yes. What can I do for you, Mrs. Randell?
Parrot: What can I do, Mrs. Randell? What can I do, Mrs. Randell?
Mrs. Randell: Isn’t it a lovely little birdie? You owe me rent, Mr. White. Last month you didn’t pay.
Mr. White: I know, Mrs. Randell.
Mrs. Randell: You owe me rent, and you must pay it at once.
Mr. White: I am very sorry, Mrs. Randell, but I can’t pay it at the moment.
Parrot: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Mrs. Randell.
Mrs. Randell: I can’t wait, Mr. White. Either you pay me the sum you owe me…
Parrot: Shh, shut up, you old parrot, we’ll pay at Christmas.
Mrs. Randell: Oh!
Tom: Mr. Egg said Miss Haverel owed him rent. Suddenly, Mary asked, “Miss Haverel, who is the man with the scar? What is his name?” but she didn’t get an answer.
Mr. Egg: Nobody phoned me.
John: Phoned you, Mr. Egg? I didn’t say “phoned you.” I said “told you”.
Mary: Did someone phone you, Mr. Egg?
Mr. Egg: Phoned me?
John: Who told you I was here? Who told you?
Mary: The man with the scar told you, didn’t he?
Mr. Egg: The man with the scar?
John: He phoned me last night. He phoned you, too.
Mr. Egg: Nobody phoned me last night.
Mary: Then he phoned you this morning?
Mr. Egg: I don’t know a man with a scar.
Miss Haverel: I know a man with a scar.
John: You do?
Miss Haverel: He has a scar down his face, from here to here. He’s Forset’s nephew.
John: Who is he?
Miss Haverel: I told you. He’s Forset’s nephew.
Mary: But what is his name?
Miss Haverel: His name?
Mr. Egg: Shut up, you old parrot.
Miss Haverel: You called me a parrot?
Mr. Egg: Because you talk too much. Shut up. If you don’t shut up, you’ll be sorry. You remember who I am, don’t you?
Mary: Who are you?
Mr. Egg: I’m Mr. Egg, my dear.
Miss Haverel: He’s my landlord.
John: Your landlord?
Miss Haverel: He owns the house. I pay him rent.
Mr. Egg: You owe me rent.
Miss Haverel: Very well, I owe you rent.
Mr. Egg: You owe a lot of rent, oh dear.
John: Miss Haverel, who is the man with the scar? What is his name?
Miss Haverel: Ha-ha, I talk too much.
Mr. Egg: I’ll tell you.
John: Will you?
Mr. Egg: I’ll tell you tonight. Seven o’clock. At my shop.
Tom: Mary asked, “Who is the man with the scar?” Mr. Egg promised to tell them at his shop that evening. When John and Mary left Miss Haverel’s house, they met the detective again. He knew that John and Mr. Egg were at Miss Haverel’s house at the same time. “That’s a coincidence,” he said, “isn’t it?”
Woman: Rachel, you were absent yesterday.
Child1: Yes, I was, Miss.
Woman: Julius, you were absent, too.
Child2: Yes, I was, Miss.
Woman: You were both ill, I suppose.
Child2: Of course we were.
Woman: Of course you were. On the same day by chance. What a coincidence!
Child1: Don’t you believe in coincidences, Miss?
Woman: No, I don’t believe in coincidences at all.
Child2: What do you believe in, Miss?
Woman: I believe my eyes, my dears. But I could hardly believe my eyes, when I saw you both at the cinema yesterday.
Cathy: Well, seeing is believing, as the saying goes. But now I really don’t know what to believe. Was it a coincidence that John and Mr. Egg were at Miss Haverel’s house at the same time or not? Perhaps it was.
Tom: Don’t you believe it!
Mary: John, there’s the detective again.
John: Oh, dear.
Detective: So, you went to Miss Haverel after all.
John: Yes, we went to Miss Haverel.
Detective: (sneezing) Was Mr. Egg there, too?
Mary: You know Mr. Egg was there.
Detective: That’s a coincidence, isn’t it?
John: Yes, it’s a coincidence.
Detective: Do you believe in coincidences?
John: Of course, I believe in coincidences.
Detective: I don’t. I never believe in coincidences. I believe in arithmetic.
Mary: Arithmetic?
Detective: Two and two make four. That’s arithmetic. (sneezing) Now, just take my advice. Go home. Good morning to you.
John: That man thinks I’m the thief. He thinks I stole the pendant. He followed us.
Mary: You’re not a thief. Let’s go to Egg’s bookshop.
John: But Egg’s gone to Miss Haverel.
Mary: Of course, Egg’s gone to Miss Haverel.
John: Then why go to Egg’s bookshop now?
Mary: Because Egg isn’t there. Come on.
Tom: In the street, John and Mary met the detective again. He knew Mr. Egg had been in Miss Haverel’s house, too, but he didn’t believe it was a coincidence. He said, “I believe in arithmetic: two and two make four.” He told John and Mary to go home. “Now, just take my advice. Go home,” he said.
Cathy: Oh, the detective always gives advice. He has a lot of good advice.
Tom: Yes. And he particularly likes this piece of advice, “Go home”. But John and Mary never take this piece of advice. They never go home when they’re told.
Cathy: “A piece of advice.” Well?
Man1: Put your money on Isabella.
Man2: Isabella? Are you mad? She’s the worst horse I’ve ever seen.
Man1: Never mind, take my advice.
Man2: Well, win Isabella.
Announcer: Next race, two-mile stakes.
(horses galloping)
Man2: Isabella, come on! Come on, now, come on. Phew! She came in first.
Man3: Hey, chap.
Man2: That was the most marvellous piece of advice I’ve ever had. And what shall I do now?
Man1: Give us a little money.
Man2: Can’t you give me better advice?
Ad1: Drink a pint of milk a day.
Ad2: Have a Coke. Delicious Coca Cola refreshes you the best.
Ad3: Smoke Corvina, the world’s best cigarette.
Ad4: Bear is best. Try it. You’ll like it.
Man: I love such sound advice. Turn the radio off, or I’ll break it to pieces.
Tom: Well, John and Mary met the detective in the street. He just gave them some good advice. “Go home,” he said. Of course, John and Mary didn’t take this advice. Instead of going home, they went to Mr. Egg’s bookshop.
(doorbell ringing)
John: But where is everybody? (mysterious music) This is Egg’s bookshop, isn’t it?
Mary: Egg’s gone to Miss Haverel.
John: His assistant hasn’t gone to Miss Haverel. Where is his assistant?
Mary: Perhaps… perhaps he’s behind that door.
John: Which door?
Mary: The door under that picture. What is behind it?
John: I don’t know.
Tom: John and Mary couldn’t find Mr. Egg’s assistant. Mary said, “Perhaps, he’s behind that door. The door under that picture.” Well, there’ll be more of the story later, but now exercise your English, will you?
Cathy: Exercise my English, shall I?
Tom: And you, listeners, you’ll exercise your English, will you? So now,
EXERCISE YOUR ENGLISH.
Exercise 1
Listen to the example:
A: Let’s go to Egg’s bookshop.
B: Why go to Egg’s bookshop now?
Listen, speak, listen.
A: Let’s go to Egg’s bookshop.
[Your response]
B: Why go to Egg’s bookshop now?
A: Let’s phone information.
[Your response]
B: Why phone information now?
A: Let’s pay the rent.
[Your response]
B: Why pay the rent now?
A: Let’s talk to the landlord.
[Your response]
B: Why talk to the landlord now?
Exercise 2
Listen to the example:
A: He should come at seven.
B: Tell him to come at seven.
Listen, speak, listen.
A: He should come at seven.
[Your response]
B: Tell him to come at seven.
A: She shouldn’t go home.
[Your response]
B: Tell her not to go home.
A: They should phone information.
[Your response]
B: Tell them to phone information.
A: She shouldn’t believe everything.
[Your response]
B: Tell her not to believe everything.
A: They shouldn’t believe in coincidences.
[Your response]
B: Tell them not to believe in coincidences.
Exercise 3
Listen to the example:
A: They said that phoned you.
B: Nobody phoned me.
Listen, speak, listen.
A: They said that phoned you.
[Your response]
B: Nobody phoned me.
A: They said that spoken about me.
[Your response]
B: Nobody spoke about you.
A: They said that paid the rent.
[Your response]
B: Nobody paid the rent.
A: They said he’d gone to the bookshop.
[Your response]
B: Nobody went to the bookshop.
Tom: And now, here is our story once again. John, Mary and Mr. Egg were in Miss Haverel’s house.
Mr. Egg: Nobody phoned me.
John: Phoned you, Mr. Egg? I didn’t say “phoned you.” I said “told you”.
Mary: Did someone phone you, Mr. Egg?
Mr. Egg: Phoned me?
John: Who told you I was here? Who told you?
Mary: The man with the scar told you, didn’t he?
Mr. Egg: The man with the scar?
John: He phoned me last night. He phoned you, too.
Mr. Egg: Nobody phoned me last night.
Mary: Then he phoned you this morning?
Mr. Egg: I don’t know a man with a scar.
Miss Haverel: I know a man with a scar.
John: You do?
Miss Haverel: He has a scar down his face, from here to here. He’s Forset’s nephew.
John: Who is he?
Miss Haverel: I told you. He’s Forset’s nephew.
Mary: But what is his name?
Miss Haverel: His name?
Mr. Egg: Shut up, you old parrot.
Miss Haverel: You called me a parrot?
Mr. Egg: Because you talk too much. Shut up. If you don’t shut up, you’ll be sorry. You remember who I am, don’t you?
Mary: Who are you?
Mr. Egg: I’m Mr. Egg, my dear.
Miss Haverel: He’s my landlord.
John: Your landlord?
Miss Haverel: He owns the house. I pay him rent.
Mr. Egg: You owe me rent.
Miss Haverel: Very well, I owe you rent.
Mr. Egg: You owe a lot of rent, oh dear.
John: Miss Haverel, who is the man with the scar? What is his name?
Miss Haverel: Ha-ha, I talk too much.
Mr. Egg: I’ll tell you.
John: Will you?
Mr. Egg: I’ll tell you tonight. Seven o’clock. At my shop.
Mary: John, there’s the detective again.
John: Oh, dear.
Detective: So, you went to Miss Haverel after all.
John: Yes, we went to Miss Haverel.
Detective: (sneezing) Was Mr. Egg there, too?
Mary: You know Mr. Egg was there.
Detective: That’s a coincidence, isn’t it?
John: Yes, it’s a coincidence.
Detective: Do you believe in coincidences?
John: Of course, I believe in coincidences.
Detective: I don’t. I never believe in coincidences. I believe in arithmetic.
Mary: Arithmetic?
Detective: Two and two make four. That’s arithmetic. (sneezing) Now, just take my advice. Go home. Good morning to you.
John: That man thinks I’m the thief. He thinks I stole the pendant. He followed us.
Mary: You’re not a thief. Let’s go to Egg’s bookshop.
John: But Egg’s gone to Miss Haverel.
Mary: Of course, Egg’s gone to Miss Haverel.
John: Then why go to Egg’s bookshop now?
Mary: Because Egg isn’t there. Come on.
(doorbell ringing)
John: But where is everybody? (mysterious music) This is Egg’s bookshop, isn’t it?
Mary: Egg’s gone to Miss Haverel.
John: His assistant hasn’t gone to Miss Haverel. Where is his assistant?
Mary: Perhaps… perhaps he’s behind that door.
John: Which door?
Mary: The door under that picture. What is behind it?
John: I don’t know.
Mary: Look!
Man: What do you want?
(theme music)